The Phone Call that Changed My Life

Seven months before I made a phone call that changed my life, I placed my daughter for adoption. Seven years ago this week, marks a huge milestone in my life that I thought would never happen. On May 6th 2009 my deepest dreams came true.

I am a birth mother. A title I never thought I would share with my own birth mother.

I was adopted when I was six months old to the most loving family I could ever ask for. When I was 21 and a junior in college I became pregnant. Open adoption was the best choice for my daughter.

I remember it like it was yesterday, it was May 6, 2009. I had an overwhelming feeling that night I should search for my birth mother. In the 80’s there was no option for open adoptions, so all the information I had on my birth parents were what my parents knew as well. Minor details with no real specifics. I had doctors notes, hospital records, and foster home letters all in my baby book that I had seen a thousand times. Yet, on this particular night I spotted two words I have never seen. A Name! Maybe her name! I couldn’t believe it. I was the only one home so I couldn’t ask anyone about it. I am not really sure what I was thinking. I probably wasn’t. I jumped on Google and then the white pages. I typed her name in and was blown away by 13 listings with the same name. I took a deep breath and started to dial the first number on the list. I had nothing to lose. No expectations. On the third ring I thought about chickening out and hanging up, but then he answered. A man with a kind, sweet, southern voice. No turning back now.

“Hello” said the man.

“Hi” I replied.

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

“Could you be related to a Debra Sexton?” I asked timidly.

“Yes, that is my daughters maiden name, how can I help you?” he said simply

In my mind I thought no big deal, it wasn’t her. I took a deep breath and blurted out,

“Well, I think she could be my birth mom”. I said quickly.

I froze and I held my breath,waiting for the negative answer I was sure that was about to follow.

“Well, she did place a baby for adoption a number of years ago. My wife isn’t home right now but she would have all the details. If you leave your name and birthday, I will have her call you back when she gets home from church.”

Before he hung up, he said one last thing and it has always stayed with me. He said “you know, so this means you are talking for your grandfather. I always knew you would find us.” With that and a promise to hear from his wife later he hung up.

Two of the longest hours later I received a call back.

I did it. I found her. I called my grandparents house. I grew up only 45 minutes away from where she grew up.

My grandmother informed me that she just got off the phone with my birth mom and wanted to know when I was available to meet her. 

There it was- no rejection. She actually wanted to see me. As an adoptee reuniting with biological family members there is always a chance that it won’t go the way you are hoping. But for me, that wasn’t the case. On May 9th 2009, which ironically happend to be Birthmother’s Day, I reunited with my birth mother, her amazing husband, my half brother and sister, and my biological grandparents.

A day that I hold very close to my heart. My prayers were answered. I know nothing happens by chance and it was all in the Lord's perfect timing that I found her when I did. I was prepared for that day. 

You see I completely feel that I needed to experience something to cause a change of heart for myself before I found her and I did by placing Talia for adoption. I was truly humbled by that experience and I gained such a deep love and understanding for my birth mom that I did not have before nor I think would I if I had not placed my daughter for adoption. I am eternally grateful for Debbie and her choice.

The Lord was in every detail from the beginning.